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OMG, it's a Brother "Part 4"

 

It's been about three months since my trip to Itex 2019 where I had the chance to meet Peter (birth full brother) for the first time.  Yup, there's been a lot to digest since Ancestry gave me that DNA hit for a full brother.

Just a few days ago I have the chance to meet Pete's daughter (my niece), she flew out to NJ with her Aunt.  Such a smart girl for 11 eleven years old.  We had the chance to go out to dinner and after dinner I took them over to Sandy Hook so they could have some fun with the Atlantic Ocean.  Later that evening I brought them to my shop where she helped herself to some of the shell jewelry that I make. A great time for someone who was small on family.

DNA Connections

Speaking of small on family my Ancestry DNA connections to date stands at 10,100!  WFT, I went from 3 to more than 10K after taking the test.

During the last three months I've always dome my fair share or digging in Ancestry. Not sure if you remember from the first blog I wrote, but I made mention that I had received a non redacted copy of my birth certificate a few years ago.  Two years of search birth, death, marriage and baptism records turned up ZERO.  These two people did not exist or maybe they were part of a coverup, better yet may they were sequestered away and given new identities from the Government? The thought even crossed my mind since I was born in NJ and am of Italian heritage that maybe there was some type of mob thing going on?  Those crazy thoughts can go through your head when you're left with dead ends.

Thanks to Ancestry they will list DNA matches for "close family" members which could be an Aunt or an Uncle. Moving down the list are peeps listed as "first cousins", then "second cousins" they'll even list all the way to eighth  cousins.

Ancestry also gives you the ability to PM those peeps and then it's up to that person if they'd like to respond. 

Private Eye

Here's what I found after playing private eye and fitting the pieces of the puzzle together for who were my birth parents.  When you get to a certain age you'd like to know because of medical reasons. The only thing I had to go on was the medical history of my twin.  He passed almost twenty years ago.

The key person in all of this was my 92 year old aunt (my birth mothers sister) that is still living in Florida. I was not able to speak with her since she is not in the best of health. But through Ancestry I was able to connect with one of her granddaughters who did some digging for me.  She also gave me my aunt's maiden name. This was huge!

With Ancestry all you need is a few names, a few places, and a few chats and the jumble of people pieces can start to come together.

Ready?  So my birth parents fibbed about their last names (not their first names), can you imagine that?  Lying to someone in the hospital about your names, guessing there was no medical coverage at the time and no one was asking for ID's?  Thus the reason that these two people did not exist on google or anywhere else.

Birth Mother

Birth mothers last name was Casazza and not Gall as the birth certificate stated.  She did not fib about her first name which is Dorothy.  That real last name was a huge help because I was then able to see birth, death, census and marriage records of other peeps in the family.  In a month or I so I was able to find out that my birth mother had three additional sisters. In addition I was able to find my birth grandparents (long deceased).  Thus I kept PM'ing other cousins and found out more about my birth mother.  She was married in the late 30's and her husband went off for WW2.  They had three children (these would be my half siblings) two boys and one girl. At time my half sister is deceased and maybe another brother (can't clarify). There is one half brother alive and living in Florida. Keep in mind that these siblings were born in the forties.  Thus my birth mothers husband survives WW2 comes home and leaves his wife for another woman. First STUNNER!  My birth mother then gives two of the siblings (brother and sister) up to an orphanage and the other brother goes to one of her sisters.  This is all happening in NJ.

It's now the 50's and my birth mother is still in New Jersey. Through others I heard she had a wicked sense of humor and was very creative.  My birth mother passed about 25 years ago in NJ.  The cool thing is that I do have a picture of her (at least I think i do).

Birth Father

Construction in New Jersey, born in Nebraska, first name is Nicholas, all of that is true. The fib was the last name again. Last name on my birth certificate was Conti.

I forgot to state this earlier my 92 year old aunt had her DNA on Ancestry. Now I find that amazing because you just don't see that many profiles of elderly people on Ancestry. I'm thinking that maybe she wanted to be found because she knew her sister gave up three additional children for adoption in the 50s.  Me, my twin brother (Tony) and Pete. Frak, it's the only thing that seemed logical to me.

Right, back the DNA stuff. For months I was at a stale mate with my birth fathers side of the family. I had some hints, some ideas but nothing rock sold with a DNA hit. The construction worker, came from Nebraska and the first name Nicholas.  Wait for it.........my sons first name is Nicholas! I tell ya it gets crazy.

K, so I have a couple of leads and those leads are pointing me to this one family in Bergen County, NJ.  But with no DNA hit and the some of the last names not matching exactly it was a crap shoot.  I did have some help with a third cousin who had a huge family tree and that's where I got many of my leads for possible family members.  I'm thinking it was about six weeks ago and a new close  DNA match of a first cousin came up on Ancestry.  Sure enough that DNA match pulled together the rest of the family puzzle. My birth fathers last name was Biancullo. So, there you have it both last names of both birth parents.

Husband & Wife?

Now it gets creepy.  That would be a no.  Seems like my birth father had an extended affair with my birth mother in the middle 50's. Could have went on longer but getting info out of my birth fathers side of the family difficult to say the least. My birth father passed about 15 year ago in NJ.  Turns out he had eight children with his wife (that's eight more half brothers and sisters), and with some digging on ancestry I believe his father had 12 brothers and sisters (not exactly sure). Thus 8 half brothers and sisters on the fathers side, 3 more on the mothers side along with Pete, Tony and me. WTF!

One other note my birth father was 47 years old and my birth mother was 35 years old when I was born.  Just thought I'd through that in because.....

DNA does not lie. Ain't that the truth. 

I think it was about four weeks ago when I had a message from someone on facebook. It was a reply to the picture that I posted on facebook of Peter and I in Vegas at Itex2019.  The message was "I guess this makes me your cousin". Well that was enough for me to respond and indeed this person was my cousin. One of the peeps that I had connected with on Ancestry did some research also and pointed him to me with my contact information.  Guess he did some searching like I did on Facebook.  Facebook is also an incredible resource that helped me. 

We messaged a few times through Facebook, and he offered to chat on the phone and gave me his cell.  I called and we spoke for at least an hour if not longer.  He is the son of one my birth fathers daughters, however he also got adopted out in the mid sixties.  He wasn't able to find out his family until he got his non redacted birth certificate from the State of New Jersey also. His however did have the correct last name of his birth mother.  Thus here's a guy who had done all of the research on my birth fathers side of the family.

One of the talk tracks that I remember is that Bergen County, NJ at one time was kinda know as the Adoption Train in NJ.  Since that area was populated with many Italians, abortion for pregnancies was not an option.  Thus most children were adopted out at birth or right after.  Praise the lord for no abortions!

Another statement that was made is that we (Pete, Toy, me and him) were the lucky ones. Why you might ask? Well seems like the birth fathers side of the family had some issues and I'll leave it at that. 

This is where I was floored.....he told me that he wasn't sure that my father was a "made man" but was a "connected guy".  Remember when I started this blog and I made mention of my initial thoughts why I couldn't find them?

I was stunned. he went on to tell me that many of these types of guys kept mistresses aside from their marriage. In fact that many named their daughters after their mistresses. One of his daughters has my birth mothers first name. In fact get this, my mothers maiden name on my birth certificate is listed as Gall. My birth fathers wife's maiden name is Gall.

I can only think that I may have more half brothers and sisters out there because some of the peeps that I connected with on Ancestry have no recollection of the family names I mentioned.\

I'd also like to say that I've connected with a few cousins and many nieces and nephews and all of them have been awesome in helping me in my journey.  Finally it puts the rest the mystery that I was carrying for 59 years. I can still remember me and Tony in the back seat of a car rolling down the New Jersey Turnpike.  We asked where are we going (we had just left our foster home, which we thought was our real home), we were told we were on our way to meet our new parents.  Looking back that was one of the best moments in my life, me and my bro going to a loving couple that would nurture and raise us to become what we are today.

-=Good Selling=-

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